Red Ink Diary

Prominent (and modest) UK public relations firm Fishburn Hedges

“A bespoke team is put together for each client, creating something genuinely different. The result is powerful: fully-integrated communications programmes based on clear insight and deep experience.”

issued a press release on behalf of their client MoneyBookers February 5th. It trumpets

“The Moneybookers partnership is part of eBay’s efforts towards making its own online checkout process a more consistent and secure experience, providing a better choice to its sellers and buyers. A system like Moneybookers directly integrated on eBay.com will allow for a more efficient and reliable service, increasing the safety of both buyers and sellers in every single transaction as well as ensuring the best possible conversion rates during the checkout process.”

I realize that Fishburn Hedges job is to make MoneyBookers look good but guys, that just is not the most diplomatic language to use about eBay or their payment service PayPal.

To be fair PayPal is relatively efficient and a good system for sellers just as long as it is not being used on eBay. Fishburn Hedges spinners should know right now that Paypal is the only safe way for buyers to pay on eBay. I know that this is true because eBay tells me so, ad nauseam.

Unfortunately either the ‘fully-integrated communications programme’ is suffering from a strategic lack of communication somewhere along the line, or, there is no intention to permit US users to utilize MoneyBookers services. I am beginning to wonder. Might I respectfully suggest that no further trumpets be tootled in the USA until there is something to toot about?

This is the second national level press release on this subject. U.S readers might well assume that the service is available. They would be wrong. The headline says

“eBay.com Integrates Moneybookers as one of its Official Worldwide Accepted Payment Providers”

Maybe eBay has integrated MoneyBookers, however at 7pm London time on Friday February 6th the MoneyBookers website is still returning this message:

click image to enlarge

The questions are:

1. Why are MoneyBookers PR firm promoting a service that is not ready for prime time?
2. At one time MoneyBookers was available to US residents, why was it withdrawn?
3. Will it be available in the USA at some point in future?

Some tidbits about Fishburn Hedges:

Fishburn Hedges is owned by Abbott Mead Vickers, the UK’s largest advertising agency, which is in turn ultimately owned by the global communications group Omnicom.

Fishburn Hedges was the organizer of the tobacco industry front group Associates for Research into the Science of Enjoyment, or ARISE

Isn’t that interesting? As Auntie May would say “Lie down with dogs, get fleas”

Y’all come back!

A new survey from eBay being emailed to US Sellers appears to contradict the star of eBay’s Smoke and Spin Department, Usher Lieberman’s statement on eBayINKBlog May 9th, 2008 in which he said

In the U.S., we are not mulling, planning, or otherwise seriously considering a move to PayPal-only,”

Now let me see, is IT a glitch? A test? A server error? A miscommunication?

Since we are not mulling, planning or otherwise seriously (I like definition #3 “with genuine, earnest intent; sincerely:”)
considering (now that word is a bit more difficult, let me quote:”These verbs refer to holding opinions or views that are based on evaluation. Consider suggests objective reflection and reasoning” hoo boy, eBay oxymoron) a move to PayPal-only in the USA isn’t this all a bit of a time waster for a whole bunch of eBay employees?

Onward to the survey!

For the next question, we’d like you to consider the following statement outlining a possible new eBay policy:

To make eBay a safer place to buy and sell, sellers will be limited to accepting only the following safer payment methods for their eBay sales:

PayPal

Credit Card or Debit Card payments made directly to the seller’s Merchant Account (Sellers will need to acquire a Merchant Account from a bank or other provider)

In person payment for local pickup items

Sellers can accept any one of the above payment methods, or they can accept all of the above. Sellers will receive full protection from payment reversals for items sold on eBay and paid with PayPal when they ship to the address provided by PayPal. Buyers paying with PayPal will be fully covered, no coverage limit, if their item doesn’t arrive or is different than described.

Compared to what you anticipate selling in the next 12 months, if this new eBay policy is put into place, which of the following best describes your likely sales activity on eBay?

Also listed in the survey are the following items under consideration to increase Paypal & eBay use:

eBay lowers the final value fees for using PayPal
eBay removes the insertion fees for using PayPal
PayPal lowers its fees for long-term eBay customers
PayPal charges no fee for one month
PayPal offers unlimited buyer protection to attract more buyers
PayPal offers unlimited coverage to eBay sellers, without requiring confirmed shipping addresses.
eBay or PayPal provide more detailed information about PayPal and how it works
PayPal transfers funds from buyers to sellers bank accounts more quickly
eBay and PayPal fees are combined into one
eBay lowers the total eBay plus PayPal fees

How about none of the above? How about allowing Buyers & Sellers to choose between PayPal and Google Checkout. How about > > >

Y’all come back and be sure to click VICTORIOUSLY on any interesting links in the sidebar! Gotta keep me in tea bags!

As I have said before Ms Nichola Sharpe of eBay’s Smoke and Spin Department is not a liar. Saturday’s Silicon Valley Mercury News reports “In the United States, an “extremely high” number of eBay transactions, spokeswoman Nichola Sharpe said, are conducted via PayPal.” Usher Lieberman of the same department wrote “In the U.S., we are not mulling, planning, or otherwise seriously considering a move to PayPal-only,” on the company’s eBay Ink blog. To misquote the Immortal Bard…”The lady (or gentleman) doth protest too much, methinks…”

So what is all the furious spin about?

The art of spin by smoke and mirrors requires the target to look and listen to the spinner, not elsewhere. I went and looked elsewhere. The following list of internet payment service providers is taken from eBay’s Accepted Payments Policy page Naturally it is tucked away out of sight, click on ‘Some Examples’ to find it.

Comments to the right are mine. Click here to enlarge. I have highlighted US providers in yellow.

To summarize:
In the USA we have three alternatives to PayPal none of which were designed or intended for auction payment. We have a bank bill payment service, designed for recurring monthly bills from entities who are also participants in the system. We have ProPay, a merchant CC processer, the only thing which distinguishes it from many other similar services is the unrealistically low monthly limits and a very high price, and we have Xoom which charges buyers and requires the recipient give the buyer his bank account number. Xoom appears to be similar in many ways to the banned Western Union but not nearly as convenient.

Talk about comparing apples to oranges!
Here we have an apple, an orange and a papaya to compare to the PayPal banana. The only other banana around is Google Checkout, which is of course banned because “This policy is designed to promote safe online shopping, and to encourage online payment methods that are safer, easier to use, and offer high levels of protection for users” How odd that the only alternatives to PayPal are no safer and certainly not easier to use. Guess we know why PayPal usage is extremely high.

If no competition is permitted on eBay then of course eBay is not ‘mulling, planning, or otherwise seriously considering a move to PayPal-only’, it is already Paypal only.

Now, please join me in a rousing chorus of the eBay PR department theme song

When you ask him anything
He never answers “No.”
He just “Yesses” you to death,
And as he takes your dough,
He tells you:
YES! We have no bananas,
We have no bananas today.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B78rrwSQB24&hl=en]

Y’all come back and be sure to click VICTORIOUSLY on any interesting links in the sidebar!